Do you plan on 24-hour help when you bring your newborn home?

You and your husband just got home from the hospital with your brand new baby—now what? Do you take your mom or mother-in-law up on the offer to stay with you until you get everything figured out and a routine established? Maybe you want some alone time with your husband and baby to lay your own groundwork for any semblance of a schedule.

Amalah over at the Alpha Mom website says she pretty much felt like she was a crazy lady from the planet of Gwak when she informed her family that they were not allowed to stay for longer than an average visit for two weeks after she brought her newborn home. It’s hard enough, she argues, to learn how to breast feed without having to figure it out in front of an audience. And to worry that your crying newborn is going to keep your company awake at all hours of the night? Psh. Forget it.

Is it weird that Amalah and her husband wanted to be alone with their baby, or that the family wanted to come and stay 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for who knows how long? What did you do? What will you do in the future? Use "comments" just below to tell us your thoughts.

Comments

[baby carriers backpacks]

I call my mom for help! not my mom in law though.. :)
They can really help.. and they always know what to do... and best of all they will love their granddaughters and sons more than theyve loved you! LOL

:) Kim

[Linda]

We opted for just the two of us and the baby... but my partner took 10 days off work to make it easier. I think it worked well for us - I would have felt the need to 'entertain' (rational or not) if we had had guests.

[Rosanna]

Personally, I believe each case is different. If I had a mother or mother-in-law that is the type to be sweet and respect boundaries, than I would totally want them over forever to help me. I get a long with my mother-in-law, but she is not the motherly type. Also I love my mom,and we are close,but she has the personality of a weed, if I let her, she'll take over. She admitted later on that she was in a bad mood. Even while she wanted to help, she had to be be entertained constantly and go out. On top of that, my family and I were adjusting to our newest addition too, and I was supposed to rest so I can physically heal from giving birth. Needless to say, things were tense. My mom was supposed to stay with us for a month after my daughter was born, her stay ultimately lasted two weeks until we asked her to leave and she was willing to go. Also, my daughter got sick 2 weeks later from a stomach infection, it took 2 months to get rid of it safely. She most likely contracted it from going out her first month. My mother and I have mended things, but it really put things in perspective for me later on. I've decided, for our next kid, no on will visit until he/she is a month old, just so we don't have to worry about taking them out somewhere fun or catering to them, and my family and I can adjust in peace. I should be doing what is best for my children and my family, not having to bend over backwards for everyone else, whether we are close or not, they are temporary visitors in our home.

[Baby Wrap]

We opted for 3 days alone and then my mom came and stayed with us for 2 weeks. It was awesome! Some people were really offended that we had no visitors for 3 days, but I just needed some space to get into the groove of it all. I don't see why people were offended. It wasn't about them at all.

[baby nursery decoration]

I completely agree with her decision! When my daughter was born I didn't want anyone coming to stay with us. It would have been awkward to be trying to adjust to a brand new routine and also have company at the same time. Plus, I'm a real personal space kind of person. I did have to be quite firm about this though, because many people do look at you like you're crazy for not taking the extra help.

[Emily Sennett]

For my first child I waited a month before I had help from my mother. I wanted it to be just my husband and I taking care of the baby to bond as a family unit. That plan unfortunately fell through and I was doing it by myself anyway which drove me crazy. Next time if I do it over I will have my mom help right away and then back off when I get my feet on the ground instead of the other way around. The beginning seems like it is the hardest part. It gets easier and you need less help as you go along and find your niche.