More than one-fifth of married mothers say it might be easier being single

It’s hard not to think the grass is always greener on the other side. After all, you’re not over there; you don’t know what you’re missing. All you know is that, even if your life seems perfect (rarely!), there’s probably something you would tweak and maybe it's on that other side. Well, one slightly aged poll of over 14,000 moms and this article in The New York Times of over 14,000 moms asked whether married moms or single moms had it easier. A no-brainer, right? It might depend on whether you’re married or single. According to this poll, 22 percent of the married mothers sometimes wished they were single. I was more than a little surprised by that statistic, but those women had understandable explanations. If they were single, they said they wouldn't have to negotiate parenting with a partner, they wouldn’t have to deal with in-laws, and they wouldn’t have to work on a marriage while raising the kids. I guess there’s some truth to all that.

What do you think? If you’re married, could you give up that second paycheck (if you’re both working) and that built-in partner and confidant?

Comments

[Ashley]

I am currently going through a divorce. I must say I would have to agree on this article. It is so much easier being a single parent. I don't have to fight about in laws and parenting time. I have everything working out great now with my 7 month old baby. She is happier as well, which we want. We don't want a baby to come into this world distressed do we?

[jess]

As a single parent (from mid-pregnancy), I can see both sides of this. Yes, I don't have in-laws. Yes, I can parent in my chosen fashion without debates or discussion.

But I also can't go to the store by myself, or go out for an evening with friends sans my child, or, for that matter, go to the bathroom by myself. When you are a single parent, you are the ONLY one there. I don't have a partner to hand her off to when I'm going nutty or just need a minute. I don't have a second income or a backup parent to do the day care run.

I love my daughter; I love being a mother. but the grass is always greener, you're right about that.

Food for thought, that's for sure.

[Missy]

Of course it sounds like it is easier to be a single mom. A good marriage is hard work and requires putting someone else before ourselves.

I think we also need to put our childrens needs ahead of ours and statistics show that children are almost always better off with two parents in the home. It gives them a sense of security that stays with them their whole lives.

Real commitment means loving our spouse, even when we don't feel like it and giving our children a stable home life.